Stupidly Hot BBQ Sauce

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In the news recently was the Australian growth of what may potentially be the hottest chilli in the world; the Trinidad Scorpion Chilli. It is rated at 1.4 Million Scoville, or around 175 times hotter than a jalapeno.

I was excited to see that it was grown by the Chilli Factory, a company from whom I have ordered their Funnelweb Bite chilli sauce from for some time. This rates a modest 8 out of 10.

They are marketing it as Scorpion Strike Stupidly Hot BBQ Sauce, rated a sphincter clenching 15 out of 10.

I’m a manly man: bacon goes with everything and jerky is the greatest food in the world. I had to have this chilli!

It was well packaged when it arrived. It even came with a lanyard.

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But how does it stand the taste test?

As my coworkers watched with a look somewhere between fear and amusement, I placed a full glass of milk on the table, I placed a single water cracker. I placed the tiniest drop upon the cracker, and raised it to my mouth. The room went silent: and I started chewing.

“Hey this isn’t so bad”

Then my gums started to burn.

I stayed calm. My eyes watered. I drank 2 glasses of milk and ate an apple.It continued to burn for half an hour.

It is indeed STUPIDLY HOT. But I was a man, and survived it. Though I fear I won’t ever taste anything again.

Go and buy some, right now.